This very well may be the post that gets my blog kicked off nice websites.
That's your warning.
After my last post, which I know was not very encouraging, but very true, I intended this week to post some pictures of our first couple weeks home from Ethiopia. I intended to show the boys' "firsts", and I will. But not in this post. I intended to give you some insight into all the blessings God has bestowed on our family in the past 2 1/2 weeks. But not in this post.
I have received many comments and messages to lift my spirits lately. I love them. Please keep them coming. But sometimes I also start to think that people look at our family and expect us to fit a "perfect family" mold because we stepped out in faith. Would you like to know all the men and women in the Bible who stepped out in faith? There are sooooo many. Guess what? If you looked at their lives, they wouldn't fit a great mold either. But they loved the Lord and were Followers, not Fans. (If you haven't read the book, Not A Fan, go purchase it right now on your Kindle and read it.)
I told my husband tonight that I feel like a complete failure. Lest anyone think that I am some hyped up fake super-woman/ Martha Stuart figure, let me share with you some of the ways I have failed in the past week alone. Yes, these all occurred in the past 7 days.
1) My children were fighting over who gets to sit in the front seat of my Suburban. My oldest child informed me that in all the "normal" families she has ever met, the oldest always gets to sit in front all the time. I shook my head as my second daughter quickly exclaimed, "Ha! We are not a normal family!" She was right. Parenting Fail #1
2) Alan was going out of town for 3 nights. As he was searching for me to tell me goodbye, he finally found me in the schoolroom alone with the door shut. He said, "There you are! What are you doing in here?" I replied, "Hiding." He asked, "From Who?" I very not-so-lovingly replied, "From the children." Parenting Fail #2
3) When Alan arrived back in town, instead of greeting him with a kiss and smile and telling him how much I missed him (which was true), I not-so-politely informed him that this year I am keeping score on the nights spent out of town during hunting season, and I fully expect to receive equal opportunity of nights without children. (I actually do not want to do that, but that's what came out of my mouth.) Wife Fail #1 (okay, technically you could classify that as Parenting Fail #3 as well.)
4) Alan and I teach the high school Sunday School class. Well, maybe until the parents of the EPC high schoolers read this, that is. We love the kids. We really do. We were excited to start class again once returned from Africa. BUT this week I taught without him. And I was overly tired. At one point during the class, a student that has a slight sarcasm bone in his/her body said something witty. Okay, it was really sarcastic. Instead of sweetly giving that person an answer, I put up my hand did the "What-ever" sign. Ya' know, the one where you make a "W" and then turn it sideways on your forehead and make an "E". (If you don't know what I'm referring to, skip this.) The student informed me that I left off the rest of the sign, the part that says, "Major Loser", where you continue with your fingers, making an "M", then an "L" on your forehead. I told this student that portion of the gesture was always to be implied in his/her case. I have a feeling I shouldn't have said that. What-Ever..... I know I shouldn't have said that. Teaching Fail #1
5) I tried starting our homeschool back up with two added students. Nope. Nope. Nope. There was a lot of yelling that day. Crying, too. Maybe stomping. By the kids? Yes, but I may or may not have rivaled them in my antics. I'll leave it at that. Teaching Fail #2 and Parenting Fail #4
6) I forgot. Everything. Well, maybe not everything, but lots and lots of details. Like forgetting to return phone calls, return messages, pay bills, mail things, pick up things, go to the bank, etc. One time someone asked me my name this week and I actually had to stop and think because I couldn't remember. What's that stuff that's supposed to improve memory? Ginkgo Biloba? I need some of that. I think. Maybe. I can't remember. Life in General Failures #1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7. (I'm limiting it to one per day.)
7) A friend stopped by the house. One of her children walked in and exclaimed, "Wow! This house is really messy! It's way messier than ours." Wife fail #2, Housekeeping Fail #1, and Martha Stuart Fail #287 (I made that one up.)
8) While cooking homemade spaghetti for the first time since May (Yum!), I set my youngest son who can't see the T.V. in my bedroom with his 2 brothers to watch a short video so I could make the sauce (yes, I know he does not watch videos at all, but I ignored that fact and did it anyway). He came into the kitchen a few minutes later with a bald streak across his head. He had gone into my bathroom, found Alan's clippers, turned them on, and shaved part of his head. All of my children have cut their own hair at some point in time, so I was not hugely upset at this act. The bad part was that I let him go to school with his head like that, to a friend's house with his head like that, and church with his head like that. I waited until Alan returned home and asked him to shave Paulos' head. Parenting Fail #5
9) Here's a good one. After a pastor search committee meeting (yes, you read that right), I felt the need to drive home slowly. I drove through a fast food restaurant and ordered a small fry and a coke and savored every morsel and moment eating carbs in peace. I sang loudly with the radio in between bites. Though I did sing hymns at the end of my ride home (I love to sing in the car when I'm by myself, and I promise I really did sing hymns and praise- but first.....), the song that was playing while I ate junk food was called, "I Like Girls Who Drink Beer". Oh yes, it was. You read that right, too. Not to incriminate myself, but I may or may not have enjoyed it. Life in General Fail #8 and Keeping My Body Healthy Fail #1, and Keeping the Correct Focus with My Heart Fail #1
Oh my, I could keep going like the Energizer Bunny. I know I'm digging my hole deeper and deeper.
But we're keepin' it real, people.
I assure you, sunshine-flower-and-happiness posts are coming soon. But until then................
............please share with me: What are some ways you failed this week? It would be nice to know I am not alone.