Disappointment. That’s life sometimes. What are the famous parental lines I find myself repeating to my children? Oh yeah- “Life’s not fair.” My husband and friends know that my other favorite line is “Put your big girl panties on and deal with it.” I have napkins at home with this phrase printed from my sister. No one likes to be around a complainer. Today I found myself wanting to complain. But then I wouldn’t want to be around myself and neither would anyone else. So instead I opened up my Bible and asked God to reveal Himself to me once again. Show Himself to this “chief of sinners”, who frequently fails miserably at not complaining and needs to read the napkin to herself.
Our birth mother interview did not take place today. The judge didn’t sign the document needed for her to come be interviewed, so it couldn’t happen. In-country staff here is supposedly going this afternoon to get the needed signature. Then they will reschedule. But I was disappointed, after asking for prayer for today, putting on a nice outfit in the hopes we could get our picture taken with her, rehearsing questions to ask, thinking of things to convey to her momma’s heart. So I changed my clothes into jeans and a t-shirt, took some deep breathes, cried a few tears in the bathroom, and went to the Lord.
I ended up on Psalm 34:1, “I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.” Did you read those key words? ALL TIMES. What is the line in the movie “Facing the Giants”? Something like, “If we win, we praise Him, and if we lose, we praise Him.” All times.
I went back to Psalm 34 and noticed I had underlined several verses previously at different times in that chapter. I have read the Bible cover to cover, and yet the Spirit reveals different things at different points in my life. It is impossible to know it all. I realized today that Psalm 34 contains some of the verses I turn to in lots of circumstances and I never paid attention to the fact that they are all continuous until now.
The Psalm in its entirety says (the underlined passages are ones that I underlined at different points in my Bible),
“I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together!
I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant and their faces shall never be ashamed. This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.
Oh taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
Come, O children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord. What man is there who desires life and loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. The face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken. Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.”
I had already read in I Thessalonians 5:18 this morning, “..give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
So there it is again. Praise God at ALL TIMES. Give thanks to Him at ALL TIMES. I need to get over it and turn my disappointment into thankfulness. Because God is good when things go my way and when things don’t. When circumstances seem bleak and I am weary, God is good. Jesus takes my burdens upon His shoulders. What else can I do but be thankful?
Today’s thankful list includes: sunrise over the rooftop as I shake my hips with Natalie and Jessie, Scott and Alan purchasing a washing machine for the guest house with money the Putnam family raised, a husband who brings me coffee, kids playing in the dirt with new friends, and God who reminds me to be grateful for His blessing at All TIMES.